Hi, I’m Elle. I am a very, extremely, excessively dramatic soon-to-be 40 year old lady (God!). I moved from Brazil to Canada in 2015 and, since then, it’s been… well, weird. Unfamiliar. Cold.

So, I use this journal to kind of process where I am and what is going on around me, which most of the time is nothing, but believe you me I will turn nothing into something quite quickly.

Binge watching anything with coffee just has to be my favorite thing in life. Is that a profession?

Smells like childhood

I don’t quite understand how my brain works. The way a smell triggers a memory or the way there’s a certain song that will always make me cry as if something terrible had happened. There’s one thing though that I know it’s very planted in my brain and even though I don’t get the mechanism, …

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Audiobook: Words+Music by Alanis Morissette

I am listening to Alanis’ Words+Music. It is perfect. I feel emotional, happy, sad and mostly not alone. I’m thinking about how long it’s been since the day I locked myself in my room next to my CD player and determined I would memorize all the songs in her MTV acoustic special CD. It’s been …

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At some point I realized I just wanted to go home. Not to the perfect city, perfect country in a house with the perfect library. Not even the actual house I grew up in, just a place that felt safe and felt mine. We moved 6 times in the past 5 years. 5 different cities, …

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As we waited for a vaccine, a cure or a sudden end of COVID19, my mom and I decided to watch a few feel-good movies from our past this weekend. My kids were mostly sitting on the floor, playing with their legos through basically the 5 movies. And I thought, pandemic or no pandemic, life …

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Me, Alanis and the books

It’s funny because I never met my grandfather. None of them, actually. Yet, I have inherited something very particular from each one of them. My maternal grandfather loved books and alpino chocolate, just like I do. He was also a painter like me. He left me a collection of old books and paintings. Some of …

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Living in the now

This picture is perfect. Real photographers could criticize it enough, I am sure. But it is perfect, look: This is a picture of my dad’s ultimate dream life. That’s him sitting on that chair. In the water, you can see my mom and her grandkids. This is all my dad wants from life, he told …

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Instagram: @quietudeideal

If you are looking for my drawings instagram, please go to @elleandpencil