Hi, I am Elle. Sometimes, I need to write.

Slow down

I don’t like writing about how I felt when someone I loved died. The reason for that is I want to look back one day and be able to read my old blog posts without touching the memories that hurt. As if life had been amazing the whole time. I think this is why I …

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a Monday

It’s fine. After years of being petrified by fear, for a moment, I decided to live. Sit on the floor and play legos with my girls. There are so many memories that I never made because I couldn’t move out of being scared. The tornado I was preparing for, never came though. But I feared …

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Letter to myself

I found a letter I wrote to myself 5 years ago. Apparently, I’ve been this dramatic for a very long time. Dear future me, Beyond all the crying, the screaming and them not doing what you tell them to, there’s a moment you visit from time to time as a parent. It doesn’t matter how …

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I’m not Lula Mae anymore

I think I’ve changed. Hopefully for the better, although, not entirely. I used to think that the universe would punish me if I ever got mad at anyone. I actually googled “what would Jesus do?” at one point trying to suppress negative feelings. That’s the part where I think I’ve changed for the worse. I …

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Living in the now

This picture is perfect. Real photographers could criticize it enough, I am sure. But it is perfect, look: This is a picture of my dad’s ultimate dream life. That’s him sitting on that chair. In the water, you can see my mom and her grandkids. This is all my dad wants from life, he told …

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