I am listening to Alanis’ Words+Music. It is perfect.
I feel emotional, happy, sad and mostly not alone.
I’m thinking about how long it’s been since the day I locked myself in my room next to my CD player and determined I would memorize all the songs in her MTV acoustic special CD.
It’s been a lifetime.
Sometimes I am scared that we are moving too fast towards the end, even though this is technically the middle. Not for long.
On this audiobook she talks about how the uses her lyrics to get stuff out of her system. She does it so she won’t get sick. Apparently, it works. That’s when it hit me. This is what I do too. I write things down.
Whatever I am scared of, whatever it is that I am feeling that seems completely overwhelming… if I write it down, it becomes only words. And words don’t scare me that much. They are actually beautiful.
A couple years ago, my therapist asked me how I coped with the rollercoaster that is my mind. I didn’t have an answer. But this was it. This is how I cope. Using words… plus music.
You never know what you’re gonna learn about yourself every day.
I hope it helps you too.